Co-parenting with your ex-partner in an amicable fashion provides your children with stability, although not easy, for the sake of your children, it’s possible to have a healthy working relationship with your ex, despite the challenges both of you may face.
Only a few studies have ever been conducted regarding the co-parenting process, and very little is known about how the process of co-parenting is negotiated by divorced parents. A recent study conducted by Kansas State University researchers showed that the type of relationship a woman has with her former partner plays a significant role factor in how both parents share custody of their children. The research participants were 20 well-educated, separated or divorced mothers between the ages of 26 and 49. They shared the physical and legal custody of their children who were between the ages of 21 months and 12 years.
The researchers found out that 45% of mothers had constantly contentious co-parenting relationships with their former partners from the time of their separation up until the present. This is a stressful type of relationship that often makes the mother concerned about abuse or intimidation by the ex-partner, the ex-partner’s inability to financially support the children, and his inability to separate a personal relationship from the co-parenting relationship. It’s quite difficult for mothers to share child custody with former partners who were uninvolved during the marriage. Most women with this type of relationship did not want to share custody with their ex-partners, but were ordered by the court to do so.
Only 20% of the women involved in the study reported to have an amicable co-parenting relationship, successfully getting along with their ex-partners. Mothers perceive their ex-partners as responsible parents in this type of relationship, and so they were willing to share physical custody.
In this study, 35% of all mothers were those who had a bad-to-better relationship of co-parenting with their ex-partners. Their relationship with the children’s father was contentious during separation due to personal issues, but improved over time when their ex made a conscious effort to separate their personal relationship from their co-parenting relationship.
If you and your spouse are getting a divorce or have been divorced, it’s in the best interests of your children to consider your relationship with your former partner as a relationship that’s all about your children. Your marriage may be over, but your children still need to be taken care of. To be a responsible co-parent, you must always put the needs of your children ahead of your own.
If you’re dealing with a divorce in North Carolina, contact an experienced NC divorce lawyer from McIlveen Family Law Firm at (704) 865-901 to discuss your NC divorce case.